Extended Q and A with Gary Swing Boiling Frog Party Sham Candidate for USeless Senate

Gary Swing received 134,127 votes, or 5.5% in a race against Democratic US Representative Ann Kirkpatrick, and John McCain. This is the highest percentage of votes cast for a Green Party candidate for US Senate in the nation this year. Read more about it here.

 

gary-swing-super-frog

True identity: Super Frog

 

Message to my campaign: You’ve made RepairRestoreSafeguard.org‘s Hot 500 list of indy, 3rd & write-in candidates for Congress!

My reply: Thanks for letting me know. So it really is heating up in here, and it’s not just my imagination?

 

Question to my campaign: What the hell, dude?

Answer: There is no heaven or hell, except for those that people create here on Earth.

 

Question to my campaign: I don’t understand, How are you on the ballot, yet you’re not even talked about??? Who are you????

Answer: Shh… don’t tell anyone I’m on the ballot. It’s a secret.

In practice, candidates running outside of the two establishment parties are typically excluded from mass media coverage in the United States.

As for who I am, I’m just a small frog from a rather large pond. You can read more about my candidacy on my campaign website.

 

Question to my campaign: What is your stand on marijuana and guns?

Answer: I try to watch where I place my feet to avoid standing on marijuana and guns. My personal experience with guns is quite limited. I did go target shooting with a friend once. I fired his handgun twice, totally missing the target and striking a mound of dirt instead. The gun jammed the third time I tried to fire it. So, it’s probably fair to say that my gun stance is somewhat unsatisfactory.

This linked article from Shooting Illustrated may provide more helpful information concerning gun stances: https://www.shootingillustrated.com/…/top-five-shooting-st…/

If I were on marijuana (which I am favor of legalizing nationally), I think I would try to avoid firing a gun at all, regardless of my stance. Frankly, my aim is bad enough when I’m not high.

As far as the issue of private gun ownership is concerned, it’s really not an issue I focus on, but I’m generally a civil libertarian. When I was a Green candidate for US Representative in 2010, the interest group Gun Owners of America gave me a 93% approval rating. Their 2015 approval ratings were 20% for John McCain and 30% for Ann Kirkpatrick.

I hope my answer is somewhat on target.

 

Question to my campaign: Anything but frogs, or is this a lark?

Answer: Frogs are amphibians. Larks are birds. Both amphibians and birds are vertebrates. We are now in the middle of the Sixth Mass Extinction of animal species worldwide as the consequence of human overpopulation and over-consumption. While amphibian species are becoming extinct at a more rapid rate than birds, about 58% of the global population of wildlife vertebrate species is estimated to have died off between 1970 and 2012 as a result of human impact on the environment. The global population of wildlife vertebrate species is expected to decline by 67% by the year 2020 over 1970 levels. Meanwhile, human population has doubled since 1970 from 3.7 billion to 7.4 billion people. The Living Planet Report carrying capacity study estimates that if the average person on Earth had as much ecological impact as the average person in the United States does today, the Earth could not sustain a population of more than 1.5 billion people.

 

Comment addressed to my campaign website: You are ahead of the times!

My reply: Thank you. I hope to have my likeness chiseled into Mount Rushmore soon.

 

Question to my campaign: Who is your campaign manager?

Answer: My campaign manager is a gila monster. She has a reputation for being quite venomous, but she is rather shy and lethargic. She spends most of her time hiding underground. Nevertheless, she can really sink her teeth into something tenaciously in response to threats.gary-swing-gila-monster2

Someone posing as campaign manager: Damn, those are some harsh words…. yes I’m usually hidden underground and quite tenacious (including when not threatened) – but lethargic?… A gila monster??! That’s just wrong, man. This attitude of yours is exactly what I was referring to in the email.

My response: It’s a good thing I keep all my email on a private server.

gary-swing-gila-monsterGila monsters are cute. Technically, the first time somebody asked me if I had a campaign manager, I replied that I just had a Gila monster serving as my campaign mismanager.

So, if you are my campaign manager, what do you propose to DO as my campaign manager?

Next time, perhaps we could run together on a Frogs of War ticket. Or Vermin Supreme and I could team up to put on a Frog and Pony Show.

 

Question to my campaign: I have a very serious question about very serious politics: are you advocating FOR the boiling of frogs or AGAINST the boiling of frogs?

Answer: Boiling frogs? What boiling frogs? The water’s fine, come join us in the hot tub. It was a little cold at first, but it has warmed up quite nicely. In fact, it seems to be getting a bit hot now, but it is a hot tub after all. Once you get in, you can get used to the temperature. Although, I wouldn’t mind having the thermostat turned down just a bit.

 

Question to my campaign: I will like us to know more. Thanks.

My reply: So would I.

 

Question to my campaign: I have asked a number of folks who I thought of as ‘politically savvy’ the following question, and none have been able to answer it, so perhaps as one who thinks outside the bog you may have a good answer: I live in Maricopa County, Dist. 3. In the Senatorial race there is a Republican running unopposed and I would like to put in a write in candidate. I have come to learn a voter cannot just write in anybody, but the write in candidate must be a registered write in candidate. Is there anything I can do other than NOT vote for that Republican Senatorial candidate?

Answer: Thanks for your question. The only vote that would be recorded would be a vote for the unopposed Republican candidate. You can certainly choose not to vote in that race. If there are no registered write-in candidates for the office, I’m not sure if there is a line provided for write-ins. If there is, you can write-in any name you choose as a protest, but it won’t be recorded.

For a senate race, you might consider writing in Gaius Cassius Longinus, a Roman Senator who was one of the primary instigators of the plot to assassinate Julius Caesar.

Personally, I wrote in Rick Grimes (character from The Walking Dead) for Sheriff and Kermit the Frog for Corporation Commissioner. I figured that Sheriff Rick Grimes’ experience dealing with zombies would make him well suited to help capture zombies to harness their kinetic energy for a new green energy program based on dangling brains in front of zombie-powered, hamster-style exercise wheels. Kermit the Frog’s experience with the Corporation for Public Frogcasting should make the office of Corporation Commission a natural habitat for him to occupy.

In some authoritarian nations where there is only one candidate on the ballot for a given office, voters would cross the candidate off the ballot by drawing a line through the candidate’s name as a protest.

 

Question: What are you thinking. Im a thirteen year old boy and I would be a better choice for our senate. Your stupid for attempting to be a joke candidate. I want to know what your going to do if you do win (because, lets face it, Americans are stupid and probably would be dumb enough to vote for you) Please respond and tell me what you plan to do about some of the actual problems that America has.

Answer: Thanks for writing to me. Recent studies on ecological sustainability conducted by MIT, NASA, and the European Union each concluded that modern society will collapse by the year 2030 if the human race remains on the current course of business as usual. If climate change researcher Guy McPherson’s assessment of converging ecological catastrophes and self-reinforcing environmental feedback loops is correct, the human race may well become extinct before you would become old enough to run for US Senate in 2034.

 

And finally, this is a really old one, but the first time I ran as a Green Party candidate, petitioning onto the ballot for state representative, someone asked me:
What’s your position on polyamory?

Answer: There are a number of different positions I’d like to try out.

Cheers,

Gary Swing

gary-swing-frog-man

Super Frog posing in his secret campaign headquarters while a pirate bites his nipple.

For more Q and A from Garys campaign, check out our post welcoming Gary as a contributor to Green Operations.


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